O CANADA-No Kids Please- ONE BILLION RISNG- 47% of girls and women in developed countries- civilized countries are going child free-aged 15 to 44/seen the incredible hard life of their mothers and grandmothers.... opting out. ONE BILLION RISING-no more abuses or excuses/Global Women in Military/Aug-Sept-updated september 2015 kim cattrall
Within five minutes of getting
married, the first question I was asked went something like this: "So,
when are you having kids?"
"I'm not," I responded, with what I hoped passed for polite patience.
"Oh, don't worry, you'll change your mind."
This was the standard response I usually received whenever I told someone I
didn't want kids and it had been that way since I was 12. It seemed no matter
how much I aged, I still wasn't adult enough to have formed a considered
opinion on the subject of having children. If the response wasn't
condescending, it was negative: "How could you not want children? You must
have had a bad childhood or you must be selfish. Or both." It always
struck me as odd that people felt quite justified in commenting so aggressively
on what should be a private topic. I've never heard anyone say that I was
making a mistake in choosing the career I did; undoubtedly, it would be
considered rude. Yet, my decision to abstain from motherhood was suddenly up
for public debate. I can't tell someone I don't want children without heads
being turned and incredulous looks being exchanged. For all our hard work in
women's liberation, we are still expected to have the dream of the knight on
the horse, the white picket fence and the 2.5 kids -- but this time, we're
supposed to want the perfect job as well. If we don't want just one of these
things, it's assumed we're broken. What's worse is that it's not just men's expectations:
women do it to one another. I recently finished Anna Quindlen's new book, Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake, a
memoir about aging and the maturity that comes with it. I've always respected
Anna Quindlen as an accomplished writer, but even her book smacked of the smug
superiority that comes with knowing she was not only a working woman and a
wife, but also a mother, the one thing all women should aspire to be. For women
in today's world, "having it all" has become synonymous with a
successful professional life, a fulfilling partnership and a busy motherhood.
Few people recognize the growing crop of young women
that only want one or two of these things. Even in Anne-Marie Slaughter's
widely read recent piece "Why Women Still Can't Have It
All", she doesn't address the possibility that to some women,
having it all might mean not
having children. Consequently, there are few assertions more likely to
breed distrust of a woman than the one that she doesn't want to procreate.
Women are supposed to be nurturing, matronly and soft. If we aren't, we're
either labeled cold and heartless or stupidly indecisive. When I told my last
therapist I didn't want children, I was immediately challenged with,
"Well, we'll have to explore what's causing that issue." My visceral
response was indignation: My therapist was an intelligent woman, well-regarded
in her field and yet even she
couldn't get her mind around the idea that it was possible to not want children
and simultaneously be a fully functioning, rational female adult.
I'm also often told that my desire not to be a mother makes me selfish. Selfish
how, exactly, I'm
still not sure. If selfish means I've put enough thought into it to realize I
shouldn't bring a child into this world if I don't want to be a mother, then
maybe I am selfish. Perhaps, however, the unselfish thing is to truly reflect
on who you are and what you want instead of simply having children because it's
expected of you. I'd challenge the assertion that having kids isn't selfish: do we honestly believe that
every woman or couple who has a child is doing it for purely altruistic
motives? There was a time when we needed to repopulate the Earth, but that time
is long gone. Now, in the face of world hunger, dwindling resources and overpopulation, having a child might be the
selfish path. Regardless, many women feel a purely emotion urge to bear
children and their decision, rightly, is never questioned, never insulted,
always respected. The choice not to have children should be worthy of equal
respect. It seems as though there's no statement other women take
more defensively than hearing me say I don't want children. Somewhere along the
way, we've forgotten that the choices we make for ourselves can simply be that:
choices. They
don't always carry the weight of influencing a generation or defining who we
are. Our mothers and grandmothers fought for our rights and they may not have
had the same opportunity for choice as we do. But if "having it all"
means something different for me, that doesn't mean I'm undoing, or worse,
disrespecting their work. For all the progress we've made as women, it's ludicrous
to assume a woman is broken simply because she chooses to forego the
"joys" of motherhood. My childhood wasn't bad and there's nothing
wrong with me. Incidentally, what about the "joys" of the parentless?
CNN's Katherine Dorsett
recently suggested that couples without children are actually happier.
Personally, I've always imagined a life filled with sleeping in late,
travelling at the drop of a hat and living abroad. This doesn't mean I'm less
of a woman or that I'm broken; it simply means I'm sure of what I want and
destined for a life without diapers. Follow Anjali Sareen on
Twitter: www.twitter.com/AnjaliSareen
www.nytimes.com/2008/06/29/magazine/29Birth-t.html?pagewanted=all - Similar
29 Jun 2008 ...No
one has yet figured out why some countries are more predisposed to childlessness than others. ...
The broad answer to the “Where are all the European babies? ... This is a crucial difference between the north —
including France and ... “Europeans say
to me, How does the U.S. do it in this day and age ?
www.nytimes.com/.../zoos-divide-over-contraception-and-euthanasia-for-animals.html?... - Similar
2 Aug 2012 ... It
is then that zoo officials euthanize offspring that do not figure in
breeding plans. ... He acknowledged that
American zoos once focused more on the ... prevalent in North America but
that it is starting to expand in Europe.
-------------
O CANADA-No Kids Please- ONE BILLION RISNG- 47% of girls and women in developed countries- civilized countries are going child free-aged 15 to 44/ONE BILLION RISING- Women in the military around the world/Celebrating One Billion Rising- no more abuses-excuses- WOMEN TIRED OF THIS SHEEEET GLOBALLY- poverty, war and not being equal- August 25 2014- ONE BILLION RISING
--------------
00000 École Polytechnique massacre- December 6 1989
canadian please with lyrics
O CANADA- MORE
WOMEN REFUSE CHILDREN- RATHER HAVE SINGLE LIFESTYLES-Indeed, about 47 per cent of women 15 to 44
do not have children- in developed civilized nations- year 2014-DECREASING POPULATION TREMENDOUSLY/One Billion Rising- breaking the chains-
women in our military globally and women rising around the world-CANADA LAW - women equal men-NOT United Nations or USA... it's time/
Abuses must stop- breaking the chains -God my grandmother would be dancing in
her 90 year of her life....- am an old tarnished tattered Human Rights, union Roman Catholic with grandchildren... and love my girlfrieds and my gay friends.... and admire youth 2day making the choices we fought so hard 4.... in Canada we have had equality laws since the 60s - women equal men- abortion is a given since 1988- and we are vicious paedophile hunters...
What causes low birth rates? I have debated this issue at some length with
blogger Conservative
Swede. Among the reasons frequently cited are the welfare state,
feminism and secularism. However, if you look closely at the statistics from
various countries, the picture gets quite complex, and there doesn’t appear to
be an automatic correlation between low birth rates and any one of these
factors.
The
United States has the highest birth rates in the West, but this is largely due
to ethnic minorities. If you compare white Americans to white Europeans, the
American birth rate is somewhat higher than those of the Scandinavian nanny
states, but still lower than replacement level. Scandinavian countries such as
Norway and Sweden do have elaborate welfare states, high degrees of feminism
and are not very religious, yet have some of the highest birth rates in the
Western world (though still below replacement level.) They are certainly much
higher than those in Catholic Poland, perhaps the most conservative religious
country in Europe. And they are much higher than those of South Korea, which
has more traditional sex roles and where Christianity is booming these days.
The
gap between the Western world and the
Islamic world in birth rates is clearly caused by religious factors,
but the differences between industrialized nations are far more difficult to
explain. If the cause is not welfarism, feminism or secularism, then what is
it?
How
strange, then, that just as the mommy industry is booming, we’re in the grips
of a baby bust. Canada’s fertility rate has been in a free fall for decades. In
recent years, though, it has hovered at an all-time low of roughly 1.5 children
per woman (we need 2.1 if we’re going to replace ourselves). Social analysts
pin it on some jumble of female education and fiscal autonomy, secularization,
birth control, Sex and the City, a heightened desire for personal
freedom, and increasing uncertainty about bringing a child into a world plagued
by terrorism, global warming and Lindsay Lohan. In a hyper-individualistic,
ultra-commodified culture like ours, motherhood, for better and worse, is less
a fact of life than just another lifestyle choice.
All
over the developed world, the same pattern is apparent. Russia, Britain,
Ireland, Australia, Spain, Italy and dozens of other countries are contending
with fertility rates well below replacement levels. Forty per cent of female
university graduates in Germany are childless. In Japan, where the birth rate
has sunk to a record low of 1.26, family planning groups are blaming the
Internet, charging that fertile men and women are spending too much time
online, and not enough having sex.
Many
people nowadays find it hard to see why anyone would have children for the sake
of old-age security. Surely, they think, people have children just because they
like it. Still, they often hear people say they would like to have more
children, but they cannot afford it. Moreover, people in less developed
countries seem to afford large families, even though their real incomes barely
reach subsistence levels.
What
can account for these seemingly conflicting observations? The fact that in the
absence of social security, the extended family is an informal social insurance
mechanism that renders childbearing economically beneficial. But in countries
with large social security systems, people no longer have an old-age security
motive for fertility, precisely because social security has made fertility
economically unwise.
Of
course, social security is not the only reason for declining fertility rates.
For one thing, the welfare state undermines the family in many other ways too,
such as compulsory public education that seeks to replace family loyalty with
allegiance to the state. Moreover, the old-age security motive for fertility
should become weaker when other ways of providing for old age become available…
One
can also look at differences among the developed Western countries. Among these
countries, there are practically no differences in infant mortality rates,
female labor force participation rates, and other standard explanations of the
fertility decline. Yet total fertility rates differ widely — and exactly in the
way predicted by the size of social security systems. The United States has a
fertility rate of 2.09, whereas the European Union has an average of 1.47.
Also
within Europe, where social security benefits are dangerously generous, there
are differences among countries. Some of the most generous schemes are found in
Germany, France, and the Mediterranean countries — as are the lowest fertility
rates in the region. On the surface, it is surprising to find this in countries
that used to be family-oriented and fervently Catholic. However, economic
incentives shape behavior, and behavior shapes culture…
The
best solution is also the simplest: get the state out of the way.
Infertility
is killing off the secular world, a number of writers have observed, including
Phillip Longman, whose 1994 book The Empty Cradle I reviewed last year.
In the former Soviet empire, where atheism reigned as state policy for
generations, the United Nations forecasts extreme declines in population by
2050, ranging from 22% for the Russian Federation to nearly 50% for the
Ukraine. Secular western Europe will lose 4% to 12% of its population, while
the population of the churchgoing United States continues to grow. Is
secularism at fault? The numbers do not suggest otherwise.
Humankind
cannot abide the terror of mortality without the promise of immortality, I have
argue in the past. In the absence of religion human society sinks into
depressive torpor. Secular society therefore is an oxymoron, for the death of
religion leads quickly enough to the death of society itself.
Demographics
is destiny. Never in recorded history have prosperous and peaceful nations
chosen to disappear from the face of the earth. Yet that is what the Europeans
have chosen to do. Back in 1348 Europe suffered the Black Death, a combination
of bubonic plague and likely a form of mad cow disease, observes American
Enterprise Institute scholar Ben Wattenberg. “The plague reduced the estimated
European population by about a third. In the next 50 years, Europe’s population
will relive — in slow motion — that plague demography, losing about a fifth of
its population by 2050 and more as the decades roll on.”
[S]ecularism
promotes a more short term and hedonistic attitude towards life. Since secular
people have little faith in God or an after life, the tendency is for them to
adopt the attitude of “Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die”. Of
course, not all secular people are like that. But in general, secularism
promotes such attitudes.
Their
time horizon is therefore their own lifetime. Religious people on the other
hand are more long term. Their eyes are on eternity. If you go to Europe, you
will come across many Cathedrals that took centuries to build. For example,
Cologne Cathedral took more than 300 years to complete.
Why
did the Medieval Christians start a project that none of them would live to see
its completion? The answer is that they look to the hereafter. Their desire was
to please God and go to heaven. They say that faith can move mountains. Here a
mountain of stone was literally moved to build the great Cathedrals of Europe.
But
what of the secular people in now post-Christian Europe? What are the economic
consequences of people whose time frame is simply the rest of their lives?
For
a start, they (in general) want to enjoy their lives to the hilt. For some,
this could mean early retirement with loss of still productive workers to the
economy. For others, it could mean fewer or no children for children means
responsibility and a tax on their resources which could be used to indulge
themselves. Statistics from America have shown that regular church goers tend
to have more children than those that seldom attend church.
Unfortunately
we live in the ME generation and having kids in the western world is considered
a burden. Feminism has won the battle, women actually believe they can be men.
I am
surprised by Scandinavian countries and Europe having a low birth rate. Maybe
life there is not so great after all
business.time.com/.../why-the-falling-u-s-birth-rates-are-so-troubling/ - Cached - Similar4 Oct 2012 ...Only women
ages 35 to 39 and 40 to 44 are more likely to have ... that they
couldn't afford to have as many kids in an unstable economy, ... countries
need to
have a birth rate of about two children per woman, ... I don't
see why lower birth
rates are bad... we can't even provide ... A splendid development.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Childfree - Cached - SimilarChildfree is defined as people who are
fertile and intend to not have children, ...
ones has made childlessness an option for some people in developed countries.
... that it is wrong to intentionally have a child when there are so many
children ....
"only babies count"—and that this is an outdated idea that is
in need of revision.
Canada's
Shania Twain wrote Black Eyes, Blue Tears back in the 90s.... and put it 2
music and played it around the world.... Shania kicked country music's ass and
the black hats... and woke the world up 2 girls count... girls are equal and
... girls can do anything they dream on.... Shania Twain was adopted when she
was 2 by Objiway Gerry Twain (she adored her Grandpa Twain) who adored his wife,
Sharon. Shania grew up in the 'Reserves, Bands' of First Peoples of Canada -
10,000 and knew exactly what it was like 2 live in poverty, despair and the
injustice of the horrible treatment of Canada's First Peoples as all
Governments of Canada and all political stripes- throwaway trash..... Shania
Twain is a hero to so many women globally.... and has over one billion fans....
shania walked the talk and kept her soul, her honour and the respect of herself
and her fans....
Shania
started food banks at all her shows, including kids from each and every town,
supported and played 4 troops be4 it became noticed, and said - feed your own
kids first and those of your communities, villages and cities-4God's sake look after ur kids..... Shania is
one of China's favourite artists-and
one of the world's- Shania made women
matter and girls believe in empowerment of education and freedom... and
equality....Shania kept her honour, her
dignity and her courage and the deep devotion of her billion fans... and Shania
never sold us out not once.... Shania walked the floor 2 support Toby Keith and
the troops when u could NOT find country music 2 do so.... Shania soundly
reported 2 media that she admired and respect Michael Jackson's brilliance and
found him 2 be a good and gentle man... when u COULD NOT find a star of any
colour 2 step up ..... that's Canadian folks....Canadians are know as the most loyal fans
and friends on the planet... and have proven it on the battlefield so often
that it's a given by all nations.... Canadian troops are the most respected and
trusted out there... and that's not bad.
ONE BILLION RISING- stop the abuses- stop the
excuses- IT'S NOT JUST ABORIGINAL WOMEN BEING ABUSED TORTURED AND MURDERED IN
CANADA.... we must fix this.... don't discriminate one woman's scars over
another.... AND MISSING MURDERED PROSTITUTES DIE MISSING... AND WAY 2 OFTEN 2
F**KING HARD..... and that's the real inquiry!!!!!! imho
WOMEN
IN DEVELOPED COUNTRYS HAVE CUT HAVING CHILDREN BY 47- 60%-
Westin
offers new package for solo female guests
STEPHANIE
ROSENBLOOM THE NEW YORK TIMES
Published
August 15, 2014 - 9:54pm
Several
recent trend reports have identified women without children as a new, lucrative
nontraditional market for travel opportunities. (HEIDI YOUNGER / The New York
Times)
Melissa
Braverman, the marketing manager for the Westin New York Grand Central hotel,
wanted to create a novel vacation package, a departure from the engagement and
babymoon promotions that she helped dream up throughout her career, including a
getaway for would-be parents known as the “procreation vacation.”
“I’m
kind of in a place in my life where I’m like, ‘What’s the opposite of a
procreation vacation?’” said Braverman, who has yet to meet someone with whom
she would take such a trip. “Where are the travel experiences for the rest of
us?”
As a
hotel marketer, her search for an answer was a matter of business. But it was
also personal.
“As a
woman who is 40 and single and who doesn’t have children, it was a resonant
topic to me,” she said.
“There’s
a different journey that each of us are on. I think those of us who aren’t
following the quote-unquote traditional trajectory are made to feel ‘other’
despite the fact that we represent half the women of childbearing age in this
country.”
Indeed,
about 47 per cent of women 15 to 44 do not have children, according to census
figures. And with the birth rate in the United States at record lows, some
travel marketers see an opportunity. Several recent trend reports, including
one by the market research firm Euromonitor International and another by DeVries
Global, a public relations agency, have identified women without children as a
new, lucrative market.
Braverman’s
belief that “the greatest ideas come from your own personal experience” has
resulted in a four-day getaway package at Westin Grand Central: Womanhood
Redefined.
Seemingly
the first promotion from a major U.S. hotel brand directed at women without
children, it includes (from $234 a night) a consultation about healthful eating
with the hotel’s executive chef, a 30-minute meeting with the hotel’s running
expert
(and workout clothes and shoes that they may borrow free of charge), a $25 food
and drink credit, a 10 per cent discount on classes at a nearby yoga studio, a
Westin White Tea candle and a new book, Otherhood: Modern Women Finding a New
Kind of Happiness, by Melanie Notkin.
“So
much of the travel industry is geared to families and to couples,” said Bella
DePaulo, the author of Singled Out and a project scientist in psychology at the
University of California, Santa Barbara. “I love the idea that people in the
industry are thinking about the idea that we’re not all families and couples.”
But
there’s the matter of how the industry will classify travelers. Take the
DeVries Global report that refers to women of childbearing age who are not
mothers as “The Otherhood,” a play on the title of the memoir by Notkin, who
collaborated on the report.
On the
eve of Mother’s Day, Notkin wrote in The Huffington Post that the reference to
“other” in her book is not meant to be alienating: “While the title of my book,
'Otherhood,' implies childless women are other to mother, the reader learns the
truth: If we measure our lives against what the Others believe to be our life’s
true meaning ... we will never find happiness because we will not be living our
true, authentic lives.”
At the
end of “Otherhood,” she concludes: “Once we no longer define ourselves as the
Other, as outside of the social norm, we are no longer concerned with how
others define us.”
No
matter the intention, “other” is a loaded word. Using it to describe women
without children might not sit well with some of them.
“Irony
is dangerous because some people get it and some people don’t,” said Robin
Lakoff, a professor of linguistics emerita at the University of California,
Berkeley, and the author of the 1975 tome on the relationship between language
and gender, Language and Woman’s Place. “Some people have irony deficiency
anemia.”
The
notion of the “other” has been parsed through the ages by philosophers,
sociologists and anthropologists. It’s a label that has been affixed to people
of less powerful races, religions, classes, sexual orientations and
nationalities.
“Social
scientists, of course, have talked a lot about othering,” Lakoff said before
ticking off examples such as “The Second Sex” by Simone de Beauvoir (1949) and
Edward W. Said’s “Orientalism” (1978). “It’s about somebody who is not us. We
are the good, the right, the fully human, the ones who have the right to good
treatment.”
“To
say someone is an other,” she continued, “is to put them in the category of
people who can’t make their own meaning.”
The
words marketers use to address or describe people, said DePaulo, ought to be
expansive.
“I
think single people and people without kids should be thought about, and think
about themselves, in terms of what they are, and not in terms of what they are
not,” she said. “Whenever you start to say, 'You’re not a mother,' it puts you
on the defensive. Why aren’t you? Is there something wrong with you?”
“It
has a parallel to the quandary about how to talk about singles or even how to
define singles,” she added. “I really don’t like the word 'unmarried’ because
it makes marriage the standard and then singles are evaluated against it.”
Braverman
anticipated that the term “otherhood” could conjure meanings that are different
from what Notkin intended, which is why Braverman and her colleagues named the
package Womanhood Redefined instead.
“I
think what we really wanted to be clear about is that this
embraces
all women where they are,” she said, referring to outmoded timelines and
expectations for marriage and children. “It’s not ‘other’ anymore,” she went
on. “That’s why we chose to go with something that’s more encompassing. That’s
why we chose ‘womanhood.’”
To
ensure that prospective guests get the gist of the package, the hotel created a
landing page on its website.
“According
to U.S. census figures, nearly half of all women of childbearing age are not
mothers,” it says. “This means that many women today are creating a new definition
of happiness. At The Westin New York Grand Central, we are deeply rooted in
offering an oasis of comfort and well-being, and invite you to celebrate your
own personal journey with a rejuvenating getaway through our new Womanhood
Redefined Package.”
The
website goes on to describe the hotel’s partnership with “best-selling author
Melanie Notkin - an expert on the growing group of women who don’t have
children - to offer an invigorating experience for guests traveling with
friends or recharging on their own.”
Westin
also has a social media campaign on Twitter and Facebook encouraging women to
answer the question “How are you redefining your journey?” using the hashtag
#RedefiningMoments.
The
definition of an “Otherhood” woman in the book is one who, like the author,
wants to be in love and married with children. She is single “long past the
time when she thought she’d be settled down,” as opposed to a woman who
actively chooses not to have children - or a husband or wife, for that matter.
That emphasis has drawn criticism from readers in online forums, such as
GoodReads.com.
But
Braverman said the book spoke to her and to other women she knows.
“A
little bell went off inside of me,” she said. She took the book to Maureen O’Brien,
the director of sales and marketing for Westin New York Grand Central. O’Brien
has children but she, too, was interested in “Otherhood” because, as she put
it, everybody knows “somebody that we love or care about that this book speaks
to.” And a package that included the book could jibe with the hotel brand.
“Westin
really attracts female travelers,” she said, mainly because the chain promotes
wellness with its Heavenly brand beds, 24-hour fitness centers, workout clothes
available for borrowing and emphasis on healthy meal options.
“We
think girls’ weekends are great,” she said, but “a lot of them are overworked
moms looking for a break.” In designing a package for women without children,
she said the guiding question was, “How do we offer something that they don’t
currently have to make them feel special?”
Efforts
to reach out to solo travelers are often welcomed. Time will tell if a vacation
inspired by “Otherhood” is, too.
O’Brien’s
hope is that many women without children who, as Notkin’s research shows, are
passionate about travel will opt to spend a few days in New York “exploring
their own otherhood” and coming to the realization that, “Hey, I’m not the only
one.”
More
women in the developed world are choosing not to have children. So why do
friends, family, colleagues and even strangers think it's OK to question their
decision?
We've
come a long way, baby. Until a few decades ago, it was widely assumed that a
woman would marry and, soon after, the stork would arrive with a special
delivery.
Today,
there are many more choices - or more openness. To have a baby out of wedlock.
To have a baby without a father. To have a baby and return to work. To have a
baby and give up work. To have fertility treatment, and then a baby (or not).
Find
out more
·Woman's
Hour on Radio 4 had a child-free by choice special on Wednesday 28 July
But
what about not becoming a mother at all? Studies in the UK, Europe and the
United States show this is now the choice of significant numbers of women.
Once
this was considered insane or unnatural. Even today, it is viewed with
suspicion - women with no desire to procreate say they sometimes face awkward
questions and disapproval.
"A
woman at work was recently quite shocked by my saying I didn't want children.
She said: 'You're a woman, you were born with a womb, God gave a womb so we
could procreate'," Jenny Woolfson, aged 25, told
BBC Radio 4's Woman's Hour.
"My
friends and I have occasionally likened coming out as child-free to coming out
as a gay person 40 or 50 years ago. There's the same sense of shock - perhaps
that's too strong a word. But it's a lifestyle people don't expect and it may
challenge their world view," says 31-year-old Rhona Sweeting.
Sociologist
Dr Catherine Hakim, of the London School of Economics, has studied voluntary
childlessness in the UK and Europe for many years. She says this is a new
social phenomenon, with women now open and positive about such a lifestyle
choice.
"An
early study in Canada years ago found roughly half of all the women who were
childless in their 40s actually chose to be that way from a very early age.
"But
very many of them didn't say so because of the social pressure they would get
if they mentioned a preference for staying childless.
Maybe
not baby
·One
in five UK women will not have children, many by choice
·Among
female graduates, this rises to one in three according to some studies
·US
Census Bureau says 36% of American women have no children
"The
contraceptive revolution has completely changed perspectives. Whereas before
having children just inevitably happened to all people who got married or had
sex, now it's something you have to make a choice about."
And
the disapproval some experience? "It's a question of generations and age.
There was a stigma in the past."
But
suspicion of childless women hasn't entirely disappeared.
Julia
Wallace, at 40 a step-mother to three children who live elsewhere, says she is
questioned about why she has no baby of her own.
"They
say, 'you don't know what you're missing, you won't know until you've had a
child that that's what you wanted to do'. That's a hypothetical question - if
you've got no motivation to have a child in the first place, why would you do
it? I wouldn't chose to become a nurse on the chance I might love the career
once I get there."
Forgotten
something? Actually, no
Natalie
Haynes, 35, has been with her partner for four years and has never dreamed of
the pitter-patter of little feet. "My parents are very well trained [not
to ask]. I worked hard at school and at college, then I ran away and became a
comedian - that worked out, so they've already won the lottery. I think my mum
might like grandchildren, but I have a brother and it's his problem."
But
not everyone is as breezy about their decision as Natalie.
Beth
Follini counsels women agonising over whether to reproduce. It's a decision she
herself has struggled with. Until her early 30s, she hadn't wanted children and
told her partner so. "Then I just started to feel this urge. I spent a
year or two battling it out and in the end I decided I wanted a child. But I
know that if I hadn't, I would have a very different but equally fulfilled
life."
Many
of her clients do not want children but feel pressurised. "Often this
pressure comes from friends who have had children - 'you don't know what you're
missing' or 'you'd make a great mum'. Or joking that you hate children.
Sometimes it's from parents hoping for a grandchild."
But
it can be the most passing of acquaintances who pass comment.
"Many
people assume if you a single and child-free that you haven't met the right man
yet. But if you are in a relationship, they ask 'when are you taking the next
step?' A woman's fertility status is still very much considered public
property. There are still assumptions about women's role in society, about
families and about family size."
To
work or not? Mothers also find everyone has an opinion on their choices
Lisa
Davies, 38, says the assumption is often that she cannot have a baby.
"What I'm unhappy about is people looking at me and speaking to me - very
often unashamedly - as if there is something wrong with me. As with other
choices that you make, the key is it's not for everyone."
In
the United States, New Yorker Melanie Notkin, founder of the Savvy Auntie
website, wants a national day to celebrate child-free women who are loving
aunts or godmothers.
"It
would be a chance for these women to feel whole, for everything that they are,
instead of having to focus on all the things they're not - ie mothers."
She
says modern families need extra hands. "Mothers and fathers are working
overtime. So an aunt who is able to give quality time to the family, especially
to the children, is very welcome."
Research
by Paola Buonadonna and Vibeke Venema, compiled by Megan Lane
Journalist,
author Armstrong tells ‘scarring’ tales of worldwide oppression
By
LOIS LEGGE Features Writer
S ALLY
ARMSTRONG
has heard horrific stories of abuse from women around the world.
They’ve
been raped and burned and beaten.
Had
their genitals mutilated.
And
been denied an education.
Often,
at the hands of their neighbours and families.
Or
with the approval of their communities and countries.
“They’re
very scarring stories," says the veteran journalist, author and Order of
Canada recipient, who’ll be speaking in Halifax, April 4.
But
for the past 25 years she’s kept going back — to Asia and Africa and places
like Sarajevo —for more telling stories that people sometimes didn’t want to
hear.
“I
mean I can leave, I can walk out, fly out, leave a war-torn country and come
back to this glorious place where we live," she says during a recent telephone
interview.
“But
their stories, they play on the back of my eyelids. I think about those women
and the girls and wonder how they’re getting along. . . . I tend to go back to
these places and I catch up with them again and find out what’s happening.
“I
feel very, very privileged that these women share their stories with me and
invariably in one country after another they say, ‘Ask your women to be our
voice, we don’t have a voice.’ They want the story out."
But
for a long time, others didn’t want the stories out. And Armstrong, who lives
mostly in Toronto when she isn’t working, had to fight to get them in magazines
or newspapers.
That’s
changed dramatically over the past few years, she says.
And,
as her latest book explores, so have the outlooks and the actions of oppressed
women across the globe.
Ascent
of Women, Our turn, Our way — A Remarkable Story of Worldwide Change, describes
experiences of grotesque horror: soldiers gang-raping civilians; fathers raping
virgin daughters because they think it will cure AIDS.
But
courage too, as women question, speak out against and openly defy
centuries-old, organized oppression, often under the guise of tradition or
religion.
The
emancipation of women has reached a “tipping point," she says. They’re
actively organizing in their own countries, fighting everything from sanctioned
rape to genital mutilation to a system bent on keeping them silent.
And,
they’re speaking to likeminded women and girls all over the world.
“There’s
an organization called Women Living Under Muslim Law which is smart, it is fast
to respond, it has tremendous research and it has branches all around the
world," Armstrong says. “And in Africa, with the HIV pandemic, African
women started to realize (the urgency of action), because they can’t say no to
sex. One of them said to me, ‘We’ll all be dead if we don’t do something about
this" and so they organized.
“Then,
at the same time, the Internet jumped into action, the social networks, and
that connected the women in Asia, Africa and the West. . . . And to me, the
worst thing that ever happened to misogynists and extremists and fundamentalists
was the day that women in Asia, Africa and the Americas got together because
now they’re talking to each other."
And
people are finally listening.
As
recent examples, she points to mass media coverage of gang rapes in India and
the Taliban’s shooting of a young Pakistani woman for saying girls should be
allowed to go to school.
“For a
very, very long time the world has seen oppression of women and abuse and
violence as kind of a woman’s lot in life, not much you can do about that. I’ve
always felt there’s a great deal you can do about that, and now, to my delight,
something is happening that is much more rapid than I ever imagined.
“I
wouldn’t want anyone to think for one second that this book is saying the
trouble is over. We have a long way to go. There is ghastly trouble which I describe
in the book in chapter after chapter and women are in danger for speaking up,
but the difference today is they are speaking up, and if you can’t talk about
it, you can’t change it and they’re talking."
Armstrong
will be speaking at 7 p.m., April 4, at the Keshen Goodman Public Library.
(llegge@herald.ca)
‘There
is ghastly trouble which I describe in the book in chapter after chapter and
women are in danger for speaking up, but the difference today is they are
speaking up, and if you can’t talk about it, you can’t change it and they’re
talking.’
SALLY
ARMSTRONG
Journalist,
author
PHOTO
Sally
Armstrong has visited countries around the world to tell the horrific ‘stories
that people sometimes didn’t want to hear,’ about the way women and girls are
abused and mistreated.
-----------------
Life
& Style
I Just
Don’t Want A Child
Deciding
not to have a kid is like saying one big no and a million little yeses
By
Beth Lapides @bethlapides
Lately,
I’m really getting how much energy it takes to not do something. And how much
of not doing things I’ve done and sometimes not done. Not eating. Not smoking.
Not becoming my mother. Not not becoming my mother. And, most pertinently here,
not having kids.
Not
having kids is saying one big no. No to the same thing over and over and over.
So that you can say yes to everything else.I picked one big no and a million little yeses. I didn’t want to have to
say no all the time. I’m already such a negative person. Cheerful, but
negative.
If you
don’t believe me, maybe you will believe Greg. Greg is the man I didn’t have
children with. Some women meet a man and think This is the father of my
children. I met Greg and thought, Now here’s a man I cannot have kids with.
I
thought about having kids, of course. But on a gut level, I just didn’t want
to. I thought maybe I should anyway. In fact, maybe I should especially because
I didn’t want to. Like the way you should exercise especially when you feel
lazy. But having kids especially because I didn’t want to? It didn’t seem like
bringing another person onto the earth as a contrary action to my character
flaws of selfishness and fear seemed wise. Or fair to the kid.
Plus,
I just didn’t want to.
(POLL:
What Do You Think of the Childfree Life?)
As a
grown-up, I’ve met plenty of women who have had careers they loved and also had
kids. But I’ve also met plenty who’ve made too many compromises. Plenty of guys
who have done the same. I had no dreams of family life. I had a dream of an art
life.
Somewhere
right around the time I was thinking maybe I was wrong about not having kids, a
yoga teacher did an adjustment on me. After the adjustment, the sound of
ripping.
“Is
that your pants?” he asked, adding insult to injury.
In the
following months, I tried to heal the hamstring with every combination of heat
and ice I could think of, including whiskey on the rocks. Finally the teacher
sent me to see Mimi and Moses Yu. A husband-and-wife team of acupuncturists who
ran a low-rent clinic in East L.A. The luck of the draw assigned me to Mimi.
She had me pull down my pants and lie on the table. It didn’t not hurt. It
didn’t not hurt so much I started to cry.
“You
can’t take the pain,” she said. “Jewish girls so spoiled. You better never have
baby.” Is that even legal to say?
You
don’t notice the absence of pain until there is pain. In the same way, you
don’t notice the absence of children until there are children. I like children
by the way. It was never that. And they like me. Liking has nothing to do with
it.
Because
Mimi Yu told me I shouldn’t have a baby, I started thinking about having a
baby. I started to want to experience childbirth. Just so I could prove that I
could take the pain. I couldn’t really take the pain though.
(MORE:
Life Without Kids)
I
started thinking maybe there was a way to not have a child but not not have a
child. Had no idea what that would be. I’d always said I’d have a daughter if I
could have an eighteen-year-old. Ha ha.
And
then one day the phone rang.
“Do
you ever have interns?” asked a sweet girl on the other end. We never had, but
we could. She said she came to our show, The UnCabaret, quite frequently, and
really loved it. So she was smart enough to open with flattery. I liked that.
So I said come over. We sent her on a Xeroxing run, and she did a good job. I
asked if she was hungry. She looked hungry.
“Yes,
I’m always hungry,” she said. So I made her some chili. And that was that.
I got
to be a mother to an eighteen-year-old. Not a mother mother. Not a stepmother.
Not a surrogate mother. Not a foster mother. But what I came to think of as a
pseudo mother.
Her
name is Jaime. Like J’aime. I love.
I got
to be a pseudo mother without tapping into my deep well of negativity. Yes, she
could drop out of college for which she was accruing debt to major in a field
she was only studying to please her parents who weren’t paying for it. I got to
tell her yes she could work for my radio show. I got to tell her yes it was okay
to start having sex. And yes to quitting her job so that she could go back to
school for pre-med and yes to med school as an older student. And then one day,
she was driving away in a new car that her on-again, off-again, big-time
screenwriting boyfriend had given her.
I
hired her, I encouraged her, I fed her, I gave her clothes. Now I only see her
on Facebook. And maybe I will hardly ever get to see her again. But I love her.
I love her in that way that isn’t a friend or a lover or anything besides a child.
Even though she’s not mine. And maybe for me that was the most important part
of not having a child. Learning to love and not want to possess. To put away no
and start saying yes.
Excerpted
from No Kidding: Women Writers on Bypassing Parenthood edited by Henriette
Mantel. Available from Seal Press, a member of the Perseus Books Group.
Copyright 2013.
To
read the full TIME cover story, “The Childfree Life: When Having It All Means
Not Having Children,” subscribe here. Already a subscriber? Click here
nypost.com/.../more-young-women-choosing-dogs-over-motherhood/ - Cached10 Apr 2014 ... Yes women
today are just selfish, don't want to lose their shape and form,
.... up
and not have kids before people add another statistic to the country.
... Many
male leaders at the companies and the politics spend little time with their kids.
... women develop to cope with the fact that their lives are
unfulfilling.".
elitedaily.com/women/separate-unequal-countries-worst-gender-inequality-education/ - Cached - Similar18 Dec 2013 ... You Won't Believe
How Many Countries Still Won't Allow Women The Right ...
gender inequality in education not only stifles the development of women,
... children out of school in developing nations, 60 percent are
girls. ..... Getting
What You Want Out Of Life Starts With Focusing On What You Don't Want.
www.forbes.com/.../why-im-not-having-kids-and-you-shouldnt-either/ - Cached - Similar31 Oct 2011 ... If I were to have kids,
their quality of life would be less than mine, and I don't want
to ... If you want a sibling for your child, adopt. ... Indeed,
birth rates are declining
in many developed countries. Giving women options can go a long
way toward
reducing our ..... If you don't want kids, just don't get married.
-----------------
IDLE
NO MORE CANADA..... IDLE NO MORE CANADIANS.... fix this... fix this now- A
F**kING SEX ABUSER ON FIRST NATIONS GIRLS AND WOMEN
Sex
offender hired by Metis council to work with abuse victims
STEVE
RENNIE THE CANADIAN PRESS
Published
June 5, 2014 - 7:36pm
David
Chartrand, president of the Manitoba Metis Federation, takes part in a press
conference on Parliament Hill in Ottawa on Friday. The Metis National Council
enlisted a convicted sex offender in 2011 to work with survivors of residential
schools. (CP)
OTTAWA
— The Metis National Council enlisted a convicted sex offender in 2011 to work
with survivors of residential schools, the church-run institutions where
children endured physical, emotional and sexual abuse.
The
Canadian Press obtained a copy of the council’s contract with Norman Hansen of
the northern Saskatchewan village of Buffalo Narrows, as well as provincial
court records showing his prior sexual assault convictions.
Contacted
by phone, Hansen, now 70, declined to talk about his work for the council or
his sexual assault convictions. He hung up when asked if the council was aware
of his criminal record when it offered him a contract.
Court
records show Hansen was convicted of two separate sexual assaults against two
women in or around Saskatoon. The first assault took place in February or March
of 2003, while the second assault occurred on April 2, 2003.
According
to media reports from the trial, Hansen sexually assaulted a woman who got
drunk at a hotel bar during a job interview with the Metis Nation of
Saskatchewan, a group for which he was once a regional director.
In the
other incident, reports say Hansen grabbed and forcibly kissed a waitress at a
bar.
He was
sentenced to three years in prison in June 2004 and prohibited from owning a
variety of weapons, including crossbows and guns, for 10 years.
It’s
not clear what happened to Hansen after he was convicted. But he resurfaced in
December 2011 when he signed a contract with the Metis National Council.
Council
vice-president David Chartrand, who signed the contract, said he was not aware
of Hansen’s criminal record at the time.
Chartrand
said he signed the contract in his capacity as the council’s finance minister,
but was not personally involved in giving Hansen the contract and did not know
much about the nature of the job.
He
would not have signed the contract had he known of Hansen’s past, he added. “If
it was something of that nature, I assure you I wouldn’t be signing it.”
Hansen’s
job was to help the council commemorate Metis survivors of residential schools,
according to a statement of work, which also notes many children lost their
language and culture, and suffered physical and emotional abuse.
“The
consultant will provide liaison services with Metis survivors and communities
to promote the healing, reconciliation and continued commemoration of Metis
survivors that attended residential schools,” the document says.
Another
one of Hansen’s duties was to provide videography services during a national
Metis survivors’ conference held in Saskatoon in March 2012.
The
contract paid Hansen $8,000 for work done between December 2011 and March 2013.
According
to another document, Hansen’s fees were paid for with funding from a Truth and
Reconciliation Commission fund established to commemorate the survivors of
residential schools.
An
official in the office of Aboriginal Affairs Minister Bernard Valcourt, whose
department oversees the fund, called the episode “very troubling.”
“Our
government has no role in the hiring of contractors linked to this funding,”
Valcourt spokeswoman Erica Meekes wrote in an email.
“These
allegations are very troubling, and (the department) encourages all aboriginal
representative organizations to select contractors within an appropriate
process and in support of the rights and interests of Aboriginal Peoples.”
Hansen
was one of 34 people who filed a statement of claim in the Court of Queen’s
Bench in March 1994 for Metis aboriginal rights and title. One of the lawyers
representing him in that case was Clement Chartier, who is now president of the
Metis National Council.
Chartier
has yet to respond to questions about Hansen’s contract.
MYSPACE
CHANGED AND WIPED OUT THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF POSTS ON OUR
TROOPS, WOMEN, KIDS AND HUMAN RIGHTS.... 2 my 895 friends of so many years....
there... miss u still
ONE
BILLION RISING- breaking the chains
CANADA
MILITARY NEWS: Mar29- Celebrating Women Serving Military Globally- One Billion
Rising -breaking chains of abuse of girls and women globally
Violence
against women won't just disappear – but progress is possible
The
Commission on the Status of Women is meeting at a time of heightened awareness
of gendered violence worldwide
Jessica
Mack guardian.co.uk,
Today,
thousands will descend on New York City for the Commission on the Status of
Women (CSW) at the United Nations. There, governments, international women's
groups and a pope-less Holy See will meet and tussle for the holiest grail:
gender equality. The theme – for the first time in a decade – is the
"elimination and prevention of all forms of violence against women and
girls".
Just
45 governments are tasked with ensuring a successful outcome for all: a
document encoding agreement on what women deserve – rights, protections, and
freedom from violence. Last year's negotiations, centred around rural women's
rights, produced no agreed conclusions, just disappointment. That makes this
year's stakes quite high, that is, if they actually could be any higher.
Global
figures tell us that one in three women will experience some type of violence
in her lifetime. It is a powerful soundbite, but whatever picture we have is
not the full one.
In the
Maldives, a 15-year-old girl faces 100 public lashes for having premarital sex.
Last month in Papua New Guinea, a young mother accused of being a
"witch" was stripped naked and burned alive. Recent reports from
Egypt suggest that sexual violence, amid continuing protests, is on the rise.
Last
week, here in Thailand I read about a woman axed to death by her abusive
ex-husband while she dined with friends. The week before that, it was a woman
stoned by her husband for socialising with another man. In February, South
African teen Anene Booysen was horrifically – and fatally – gang-raped, just as
a young Indian woman had been several months earlier, more than 9,000
kilometers away.
On
Valentine's Day, South African model Reeva Steenkamp was shot and killed by her
boyfriend Oscar Pistorius. Though it is not yet clear whether her death was a
result of domestic abuse, the way in which Steenkamp has been treated
posthumously is revealing of a culture that could enable such a tragedy in the
first place. As Marina Hyde put it, while Steenkamp's corpse was fresh in the
morgue, her bikini-clad body was splashed on front pages. A former Nigerian
minister blamed her for her own death, calling her "a sexy and pretty
little model who the devil sent [Pistorius's] way".
These
are not isolated incidents. These are symptoms of societies that remain hotbeds
of inequality, systematically failing women. This is happening everywhere.
Violence
against women is not all bloody lips and black eyes, though. It is emotional
abuse and financial control, street harassment and reproductive coercion. At
its root, such violence is about power, sex, how we view masculinity and the
very fabric of our identities.
We
live in societies where rape victims are doubted and blamed, where street
harassment is still treated as a compliment, where women's bodies are sleazily
ogled or cruelly judged, and where gender norms for both men and women remain
uncomfortably restricting. Recent research from Bangladesh found that 98% of
men said that to be a man you need to be "tough", while 81% of those
who had admitted rape said they were motivated by sexual entitlement.
Last
month's One Billion Rising movement, the largest simultaneous global action to
end violence against women that the world has ever seen, did not happen for
fun. It happened because it had to.
No
country is off the hook, including the stewards of this year's CSW. This
includes the Democratic Republic of Congo, dubbed "the rape capital of the
world"; Iran, where women's rights activists are regularly imprisoned;
Russia, where domestic violence is not technically considered a crime; and the
US, where it took an embarrassingly long time to re-authorise the Violence
Against Women Act, and which is one of only a few countries in the world that
has not yet ratified the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of
Discrimination against Women.
While
the existence of violence against women is as old as the human race, and
advocates have been toiling for decades, the time for change is ripe in new
ways. The world is focused on this issue in a way it has not been before.
The
rape and death of a Delhi woman in December reverberated globally in a way such
atrocities really never had before. Just two months later, a high-level
commission had reviewed India's rape legislation along with 80,000 public
testimonies, and the president had signed a new law. Novel efforts like Women
Under Siege's real-time crowdsourced map of sexual assault in Syria is also
helping to make the issue unavoidable.
We
will never live in a violence-free world, though that is a worthy goal. Efforts
to achieve it, at the very least, put us further along the path of progress. We
have increased opportunities to shine the spotlight on violence, examining its
twisted roots in a new light and consider the ways in which each one of us is
implicated. That is certainly something to pay attention to.
As
Afghan forces grow and develop, taking responsibility for lead security in
their country, women too are stepping forward to join the nation's army and
police forces. But those who volunteer for their nation's forces often faces
prejudice and harassment. At a recent conference in Kabul, women working in
Afghan security discussed how best to fight prejudice against them.
"Highway
of Heroes", was co-written and co-produced by The Trews and Gordie Johnson
(Big Sugar) and was inspired by the 2006 death of Captain Nichola Goddard from
The Trews' hometown of Antigonish, NS. Canada's Highway of Heroes, is the
section of the MacDonald-Cartier freeway named to honour those who have
sacrificed all in service of country.
You
can purchase "Highway of Heroes" world-wide exclusively via iTunes. http://bit.ly/dbVi6d
Net
proceeds from sales will benefit the Canadian Hero Fund ( http://www.herofund.ca
), an organization that assists the families of Canadian military personnel
through academic scholarships.
Women
have a significant role to play in NATO to help resolve and prevent conflicts.
War
and conflict often affects women and children more than men.
Recognizing
the important role women play in building peace, the United Nations Security
Council adopted Resolution 1325 on 31 October 2000.
The
Resolution called for an end to the historic inequality of male and female
participation in resolving conflicts.
This
short film examines how NATO is working to protect women and children in its
areas of operations, and to increase the participation of women at every level
to prevent future conflicts.
-----------
Women
of the Israeli Army, from "Women of the World"
AFGHANISTAN
WARRIOR DOG SAVED- Military Working Dog- Over 2000 folks and troops saved by
this dog
Save-A-Vet
Rescues Hero MWD Dexter
MWD
Dexter saved over a thousand lives in his tours of duty in Iraq, Afghanistan
and elsewhere. Save-A-Vet rescued him from euthanization and gave him a home
where he can live out his retirement years.
Thanks
to CBS 58 WDJT-TV Milwaukee for sharing this footage!
Do
you, as a Pakistani, refuse to watch as more than one billion women experience
violence on the planet??
"One
Billion Rising" is a Global Campaign started by Eve Ensler. It is an
activist movement to end violence against women and girls. It is being taken up
by different countries across the globe to mobilize the grass root communities,
individual men and women, intellectuals, politicians to raise their voices
against violence against women.
"More
than 1 out of every 3 women on this planet will experience violence during her
lifetime. With 7 billion people on the planet, that's one billion women.
Stopping this violence is as crucial as addressing the issues of disease,
hunger, and climate change," said Eve Ensler. "One Billion
Rising" is a global strike, a call to refuse to participate until rape and
rape culture ends. It's a solidarity reach, a new refusal, and a new way of
being."
One
Billion Rising activists are encouraged to focus on local issues affecting
women and girls including work places, home life, laws and legislators, media
that supports violence against women and girls, and governments or religious
institutions that have not done enough to stop it. This is a people's movement.
It is not a campaign with one face attached to it. It is a campaign that has
millions of women's faces from all over the world. This is an appeal to take
proactive activism forward.
This
video was made by the non government organization Rozan working on on issues of
emotional and mental health.
Learn
Debbie Allen's choreography to the ONE BILLION RISING dance anthem BREAK THE
CHAIN!
Activists
in 182 countries are staging One Billion Rising events, many are using
"Break The Chain" for flash mobs in high profile locations. Watch
this video and dance the day away! And be sure to let us know what you are
doing sign up your events on http://www.onebillionrising.org
Special
shout out to the incredible Senior dance class at Brooklyn High School of the
Arts for teaching Debbie's moves!
-------
ONE IN
THREE WOMEN WILL BE BEATEN, RAPED OR MURDERED ON THIS PLANET....Global Girl
Power Rising... and this is NOT just valentine's day...it's every day..... ONE
BILLION RISING
From
Canada to Uganda, sister companies Lunapads and AFRIpads join forces across the
world in solidarity with the global One Billion Rising movement to
"Strike, Dance and RISE" against violence against women and girls.
Big
thanks to Tracy Bee for producing the video, Madeleine Shaw for the creative,
and Cortnee Loren Brown | Photography, Leona Fowler, Girlvana Yoga, and Global
Girl Power for use of their photos.
------------------------
One
Billion Rising: Robert Redford on why he is joining Eve Ensler's campaign
There
was a monumental event that took place on February 14 this year that seems went
largely unnoticed by much of the mainstream media no, not Valentine’s Day—an
event called “One Billion Rising” a global campaign to end violence against
women and girls. To be honest, I had heard nothing about it until I came across
a news piece done by NPR in the states. The event called for one billion women
around the world to join together and dance in a show of collective strength.
The word billion refers to the statistic that one in three women will be raped
or beaten in their lifetime, or about one billion—that’s shocking. ?The
campaign was founded by playwright and activist Eve Ensler who said, ?“Today
the dancing begins and with this dancing we express our outrage and joy and our
firm global call for a world where women are free and safe and cherished and
equal. Dance with your body, for your body, for the bodies of women and the
earth.” ?The rally was held in more than 190 countries including most major
cities in Canada and was deemed a success by organizers as women from all walks
of life joined in mass dance movements and flash mobs around the world—what a
joyous way to send such an important message.?To see much more about this
movement go to www.onebillionrising.org.
I'm
Rising Because..."Over 50% of Canadian women by the age of 16 will have
experienced at least one incident of sexual or physical violence. Why Would You
Not Take Action? "
Toronto
City Councillor Kristyn Wong-Tam is Rising with One Billion Rising Toronto on
February 14, 2013.
Thank
you to fb.com/onebillionrisingtoronto for posting this Canadian perspective.
Danya Daccash, M.S.W.
One
Billion Rising: Women Rising up and Dancing to Protest Violence against Women
on February 14, 2013 in Köln (Cologne), Germany. Music "Break the
Chain" by Tina Clark
On 29
January 2013 in Brussels, the European Parliament rose and danced with Eve
Ensler in a One Billion Rising flashmob to call for an end to violence against
women and girls.
This
initiative was led by European Parliament Vice-President Isabelle Durant
(Belgium) with her fellow "V-MEPs" who performed The Vagina
Monologues in the European Parliament in March 2012: Franziska Brantner
(Germany), Marielle Gallo (France), Ana Gomes (Portugal), Kartika Liotard
(Netherlands), Ulrike Lunacek (Austria), Sirpa Pietikäinen (Finland), Renate
Weber (Romania), Cecilia Wikström (Sweden). They were joined by many more MEPs,
including Michael Cashman (UK), Nikos Chrysogelos (Greece), Leonidas Donskis
(Lithuania), Mikael Gustafsson (Sweden, chair of the EP committee on women's
rights and gender equality), Jean Lambert (UK), Barbara Lochbihler (Germany,
chair of the subcommittee on Human Rights), Baroness Sarah Ludford (UK, Vice-Chair
of the ALDE Group), Marisa Matias (Portugal), Martina Anderson (UK), Judith
Merkies (Netherlands), Joanna Senyszyn (Poland, Vice-Chair of the Subcommittee
on Human Rights), Gabriele Zimmer (Germany, chair of the GUE/NGL Group), as
well as staff at the European Parliament.
UNITED
STATES OF AMERICA NEEDS TO SIGN- HUMAN RIGHTS EQUALITY 4 WOMEN- why would other
countries sign- if USA won't?
Archive
for the 'Women’s Rights' Category
Event:
“Profiles in Courage: Human Rights Defenders and the Struggle to End Violence
Against Women”
Published
by
UN
Watch
- at
February 25, 2013 in Women's Rights.
Join
UN Watch for parallel event to UN Comission on the Status of Women, 4 March
2013: “Profiles in Courage: Human Rights Defenders and the Struggle to End
Violence Against Women”
The
situation of women’s rights in Pakistan and Saudi Arabia
Dr.
Qanta Ahmed
Human
rights activist, associate professor of Medicine at the State University of New
York (Stony Brook), author of In the Land of Invisible Women: A Female Doctor’s
Journey in the Saudi Kingdom.
The
situation of women’s rights in Iran
Roya
Hakakian
Author,
Farsi poet, founding member of the Iran Human Rights Documentation Center,
producer for CBS 60 Minutes and other programs. Her most recent book, Assassins
of the Turquoise Palace, about Iran’s terror campaign against exiled Iranian
dissidents in Western Europe, was named a Notable Book of 2011 by the New York
Times Book Review.
Violence
against women’s in the Syrian struggle for freedom
Hadeel
Kouki
Student
activist from Syria
Continue
reading ‘Event: “Profiles in Courage: Human Rights Defenders and the Struggle
to End Violence Against Women”’
Say No
to Iran & Saudis Leading U.N. Women’s Rights Agency
Published
by
UN
Watch
- at
November 1, 2010 in Iran, Saudi Arabia and Women's Rights. 1 Comment
Speak
out for women who are hanged, lashed and stoned to death: go to this web page
and click “Like.”
.
.
Iran
Says “Chastity” is Key to “Preventing Violence Against Women”
Published
by
UN
Watch
- at
June 4, 2009 in Human Rights Council (UNHRC) and Women's Rights. 2 Comments
During
today’s annual full day discussion on women’s human rights at the U.N. Human
Rights Council, opinions clashed on the role of culture and religion in
violations of women’s rights. Continue reading ‘Iran Says “Chastity” is Key to
“Preventing Violence Against Women”’
Iranian
Nobel laureate Shirin Ebadi again slams Swiss FM Calmy-Rey for meeting
Ahmadinejad
Published
by
UN
Watch
- at
December 11, 2008 in Human Rights Council (UNHRC), Iran and Women's Rights. 0
Comments
It is
rare when the UN hosts an event that speaks truth to power. But that is exactly
what happened in Geneva today when Iranian human rights defender and Nobel
laureate Shirin Ebadi and Nigerian author and Nobel laureate Wole Soyinka
appeared on a panel, in the magnificent Salle des Assemblées, to mark the 60th
anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR), organized by
the UN Institute for Training and Research (UNITAR).
The
event was chaired by UNOG Director-General Sergei Ordzhonikidze and attracted a
full room, mostly with students and Iranian expats, as well as diplomats and
NGO activists.
Ordzhonikidze
opened with a speech, followed by a clip on the adoption of the UDHR, which
showcased speeches and key figures behind the document, as well as the actual
1948 vote. The film only showed three positive votes from the roll call, but
omitted to mention the 8 abstentions that came from the USSR and its vassals
and satellites (Byelorussia, Czechoslovakia, Poland, Ukraine), Yugoslavia,
apartheid South Africa and Saudi Arabia.
Both
Nobel laureates made passionate statements, reaffirming the universality of
human rights. They spoke against dictatorships, non-democratic Islamic states
and oppression. Both condemned the notion of cultural relativism as an excuse
for not implementing human rights.
Ebadi
spoke of “human rights defenders [who] are silenced as ‘heretics’”, and
dictatorships that use religion to oppress their people. Soyinka deplored the
situation in Zimbabwe and also criticized the US Patriot Act.
Following
the two speeches, a panel of Swiss journalists asked questions, and, in a Davos-style
setting, the floor was opened for questions from the audience.
The
first question from a Swiss journalist was to Ebadi, saying how much the Swiss
were “shocked” to see Swiss FM Micheline Calmy-Rey meet with Ahmadinejad this
year, and asking her opinion.
Ebadi
said that she was surprised that a Cabinet Minister from a country with such
respect for human rights would agree to meet with such a government and sign an
agreement with them, which is to the detriment of the Iranian people, instead
of meeting with representatives of civil society. The room gave Ebadi a round
of applause.
Ordzhonikidze
was quick to respond in support of the Swiss Foreign Minister, saying that he
disagreed with Ebadi and agreed with Calmy-Rey. He said that her visit means
that diplomacy is working. Diplomats have to meet each other to make peace in
the world. Negotiations are happening all around the world between hostile
nations. If not, the other option would be war. He said he fully supported what
Calmy-Rey did. Few applauded this statement.
The
moderator, the head of UNITAR, invited Ebadi to respond. Ebadi said she doesn’t
oppose dialogue. It is normal for countries to have dialogue. But Calmy-Rey’s
trip to Iran was not to talk of peace or human rights, and she was not prepared
to meet with even one person from Iran’s civil society. Agreements were signed,
pictures were taken and Calmy-Rey left. It was only done for economic reasons,
and to the detriment of the people of Iran. Ebadi received another round of
applause.
For the
rest of the discussion, Ebadi spoke about women’s rights in Iran. About how a
woman is only worth half of a man’s life. How the Bahais are discriminated in
Iran and suffer from a “cultural genocide.” How Iranian law establishes
religious discrimination. Bahais have no rights under the law. For the last 30
years, they are barred from universities.
When
some Bahai leaders were arrested, nobody wanted to represent them, so she did.
The official Iranian News Agency sought to defame Ebadi by claiming she was a
Bahai convert. In Iran, a convert is liable to execution for apostasy. These
discriminatory laws need to be reformed.
A Kurd
from Iran also asked a question and Ebadi responded that it is true that
Kurdish leaders have been assassinated and she thinks that violence can never
be justified.
Ebadi
shared a story about the Commission on Human Rights. A few years ago she came to
Geneva to meet with diplomats from the Commission and tell them about women’s
rights in Iran. She entered the room and saw eight diplomats — five of whom
represented countries where the situation of women’s rights is even worse that
in Iran! So she said hello, and left the room. She said this needs to change.
Soyinka
deplored the weak performance of the Human Rights Council. He also deplored the
lack of UN response to the great human rights disaster in Darfur, and said that
the UN has still not learned the lessons of the Rwandan genocide. He also
criticized China for its support to Sudan.
The
event concluded with a speech by the Prince of Monaco, Albert II. The Prince
repeated many of the notions of the discussion. He said that today is an
anniversary but not a celebration. Relativism has emerged as a new enemy of the
universality of human rights. How can it be acceptable to turns one’s back on
the oneness of humanity?
The
ambassador of Sri Lanka was reportedly quite upset that he was not recognized
by the chair to ask a question.
The
event was a rare instance of fresh air at the UN. The doors of the UN were
opened to human rights defenders and victims, and oppressive regimes were named
and shamed.
U.N.
Ruling: Islamic Sharia Taboo in Human Rights Council Debates
Published
by
UN
Watch
- at
July 1, 2008 in "Defamation of Religion", Freedom of Expression,
Human Rights Council (UNHRC) and Women's Rights. 3 Comments
In its
recently concluded June session, the UN Human Rights Council ruled that any
references to Islamic Shar’ia law are prohibited in the council chamber. Even
outgoing UN rights chief Louise Arbour, who more than once sought to appease
the UN’s anti-blasphemy squads, expressed her concern.
It all
started when the heroic David Littman, undaunted by malicious attempts to expel
him from the UN, tried to deliver a speech on violence against women and what
Islamic scholars can do to prevent it. The Egyptian representative interrupted
repeatedly and challenged the council president. “Regardless of the result of
the vote — I couldn’t care less if I will win or lose this vote — my point is
that Islam will not be crucified in this council!”
The
president gave in: “Statements should refrain from making judgments or
evaluations of a particular religion. . . I can promise that at the next
evaluation of a religious creed, law, or document, I will interrupt the speaker
and we’ll go on to the next one.”
Following
is a transcript from June 16, 2008 debate at 8th Session of the UN Human Rights
Council. General debate on Agenda Item 8, “Follow up and implementation of the
Vienna Declaration and Programme of Action.” The video archive can be seen here
under “Points of Order” (requires RealPlayer).
DAVID
LITTMAN, IN JOINT STATEMENT BY ASSOCIATION FOR WORLD EDUCATION, INTERNATIONAL
HUMANIST AND ETHICAL UNION
In the
context of integrating the human rights of women throughout the United Nations
system we wish to draw attention to four examples of widespread violence
against women that we believe merits far greater attention from the council.
One, regarding FGM [female genital mutilation], we are making available our
detailed written statement…
PRESIDENT
COSTEA
[Bangs
gavel.] A point of order raised by the delegation of Egypt. You have the floor,
sir.
EGYPT
- POINT OF ORDER
Thank
you Mr. President. Mr. President, I have a copy of this statement. Continue
reading ‘U.N. Ruling: Islamic Sharia Taboo in Human Rights Council Debates’
Saudi
women’s tales horrify UN
Published
by
UN
Watch
- at
January 20, 2008 in Saudi Arabia, Uncategorized and Women's Rights.
-----------------------------
One
Billion Rising- Every day is International Women's Day-breaking the chains of
abuse 4 girls and women
LITTLE
GIRLS WILL GO TO SCHOOL IN THE WORLD-it's time
Taliban
victim Malala Yousafzai back at school, in different land
ONE
BILLION RISING- break the chains 4 girls and women all over the world- UN MEETS
THIS WEEK TO STAND UP 4 WOMEN IN THE WORLD'S COUNTRIES.... they must... or
disband...
AND
GLOBAL GIRL POWER- we love r Afghan girls- they will go to school - Afghan
daddies love their little girls too.
Two
paintings from the series
"The
Wind-Up Dolls" by AMIRI HAGAMA portrays the contemporary Afghan women whom
the artist
met
upon visit to her home city, Kabul in 2010. 'These paintings give a social
dimension portraying
the
innermost thought and feelings of contemporary Afghan women.' – says Hangama
Amiri
(Canada).
Hangama
Amiri
The
Wind-Up Dolls of Kabul | 2011
The
Wind-Up Dolls, is a painting series about Afghan women whom the artist met on a
visit back to her homeland Kabul, Afghanistan in the year of 2010. The research
painting project portrays the innermost thoughts, social dimensions, and
psychological insights of six Afghan women in contemporary Afghan society.
So
cool- Cartoon- Global Girl Power- WHAT TERRIFIES RELIGIOUS EXTREMISTS THE MOST-
LIKE THE TALIBAN R NOT AMERICAN TANKS, BOMBS R BULLETS- ... It's a girl with a
book
Having It All Without Having Children. ... 2013. SHARE. Photo-Illustration by Randal Ford for TIME ... adding up to about 1 in 5 American women who end their ...
-----------------
No Kids for Me, Thanks
Photo
Credit
Trisha Krauss
Chelsea
Handler, the television host and best-selling author of “My Horizontal
Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands,” and Geoff Dyer, the critically
acclaimed British writer whose 15 books include “Out of Sheer Rage:
Wrestling With D. H. Lawrence,” don’t have much in common on the
surface, aside from both calling Los Angeles home. But neither has an
interest in procreating.
“I definitely don’t want to have kids,” Ms. Handler, 40, said in a 2013 television interview. “I don’t think I’d be a great mother. I’m a great aunt or friend of a mother.”
In
it, he related an episode a few years back in which gamboling children
kept interrupting his tennis game in London as their mothers did
nothing, much to his displeasure. The incident was “a clear
demonstration that the rights of parents and their children to do
whatever they please have priority over everyone else’s,” he wrote.
(The
disruption of racket sports at the hands of youth seems to be a bête
noire for Mr. Dyer. Two winters ago, I found myself playing table tennis
with him in a Brooklyn establishment. Within 10 minutes, we were booted
out for a child’s birthday party as dozens of children and their
guardians swarmed the room. “The only thing I hate more than children,”
he told me as we gathered our belongings, “are parents.”)
Ms.
Handler’s and Mr. Dyer’s desire to be childless — or child-free, as
some prefer — syncs with nationwide shifts over the last several
decades, and with a host of celebrities who have spoken publicly about their decisions, like George Clooney, Oprah and Ricky Gervais.
The percentage of childless women ages 40 to 44 doubled from 1976 to 2006, when the figure stood at over one-fifth of women. Their ranks have increased enough that the first NotMom Summit
will take place in Cleveland this October. (The numbers have tailed off
slightly since 2006, to about 15 percent; some explanations may be
more-flexible workplace cultures for women, advances in fertility
treatments and increasing acceptance of unmarried women who conceive
through sperm donors.)
People’s
reasons for not reproducing remain as varied as ever, encompassing the
personal, political, financial, environmental or the anti-narcissistic,
as in the case of John Warner, the
author of the novel “The Funny Man,” who self-deprecatingly wrote in an
email, “I’m not convinced my genes are anything to wish on anyone.”
Photo
Geoff Dyer.Credit
Sasha Maslov for The New York Times
But
one particular strain may be resistance to the current atmosphere of
overparenting and its attendant upper-middle-class signifiers.
“If I had kids, I can’t see doing it in New York City,” said Kate Bolick,
the author of the coming book “Spinster: Making a Life of One’s Own.”
“Not just because I couldn’t afford it, but because I don’t like the
idea of raising a child in this epicenter of class disparity and extreme
wealth.”
Meghan
Daum, the editor of the anthology and a Los Angeles Times opinion
columnist, said, “It’s undeniable that watching this culture play out —
the helicopter parenting, the media fixation on baby bumps and celebrity
childbearing and -rearing — is overwhelming, and it’s natural that
people would react against it.”
“I
can’t tell you how many baby showers I’ve been to where the woman who’s
having the child has this moment of ‘Oh, my God, what have I signed up
for?’ ” Ms. Daum said. “I think there are people in the book who may
have made a different decision if they’d been living in a different
moment.”
Still,
she cautioned against attributing too much of the recent surge in
childlessness by choice to societal trends. “Not to have a child is a
very personal, visceral decision,” she said. “Ultimately, it comes from
within, not from Park Slope.”
A
few contributors to her anthology do, nevertheless, chalk up some of
their misgivings to Park Slope-ish fads that seem intent on creating a
generation of Stepford moms.
Anna
Holmes cataloged the “hoary ideas of womanhood” on display in her
Brooklyn neighborhood, which has “overpriced boutiques filled with
one-of-a-kind maternity clothes and hundred-dollar sets of receiving
blankets made of ‘all-organic cotton.’ ”
Laura
Kipnis wrote about her “profound dread of being conscripted into the
community of other mothers — the sociality of the playground and
day-care center, and at the endless activities and lessons that are de
rigueur in today’s codes of upper-middle-class parenting.”
Photo
Meghan Daum.
Both
descriptions reflect a few of the ways parenting (at least in this
rarefied socioeconomic milieu) has evolved since the 1980s into a
competitive and consumerist sport. Partly as a result of this
overextension, the culture has begun representing parenting as a
less-than-satisfying occupation.
The
news media periodically trot out articles about how parents are
unhappier than their childless counterparts. The debatable postulation
is often traced back to an influential 2004 study in which working mothers ranked child care the second-most-negative activity on a list of 16 (rated less negatively were commuting and housework).
Child
care, of course, is just one aspect of parenthood, albeit a significant
part, and the mothers were polled on workdays, which likely increased
their exhaustion and hostility toward their children. Yet other research
followed that has, if not debunked claims of the misery of parenting,
then at least made them more nuanced.
So
while the long-held opinion that having children is the key to a
fulfilling life may, indeed, be true for most people, contemporary
popular culture habitually indicates otherwise.
Novels like Jenny Offil’s “Dept. of Speculation,” Lionel Shriver’s “We Need to Talk About Kevin” (and the film version) and Elisa Albert’s “After Birth” all portray the ambivalence and agonies of motherhood; the runaway best-seller “Go the ____to Sleep” was a release valve for irritably fatigued parents; and a popular blog is a mocking backlash to “parent overshare on social networking sites.”
Advertisement
With
a few exceptions like NBC’s “Parenthood,” a paean to the titular
vocation’s rewards (but which also didn’t shy away from the challenges
of child rearing), TV parents are routinely sleep-deprived, harried,
anxious, confused, cash-strapped, sexually frustrated or divorced, a far
cry from the days of the comfortable and comforting stewards on “Family
Ties,” “The Brady Bunch” and “Father Knows Best.”
And
the children in these offerings are repeatedly depicted as the bratty,
tyrannical rulers of their enslaved progenitors. Perhaps this is one
reason that Andrea Dickstein, 34, a director of e-business and marketing
communications who lives on Long Island, doesn’t want children.
Photo
“I
think about having to attend or host children’s birthday parties, and
it seems exhausting and unappealing,” she said. “Of course, the irony is
I’m attending a colleague’s 2-year-old’s party this weekend. Maybe
they’ll think I’m there to kidnap one.”
In
a previous time, that statement would have been spoken in a whisper to
evade censure. Now it’s anything but heretical, a standard line for
people who not only see how difficult raising children can be, but for
the generation that came of age as divorce rates spiked in the 1970s and ’80s
(and which have since settled down some) and may be less optimistic
about the classic nuclear family. For those who aren’t part of a
cohesive familial unit that can provide different means of support, it’s
far more daunting — emotionally and monetarily — to start a new clan.
Nonetheless,
spouses without children are still frequently perceived as
self-centered; the symbolic couple for this stereotype may be the
Machiavellian Frank and Claire Underwood on “House of Cards,” for whom
nothing gets in the way of political ambition.
A
less toxic on-screen duo would be the 40-something Brooklyn couple
played by Ben Stiller and Naomi Watts in Noah Baumbach’s new film,
“While We’re Young.” Having suffered through a few miscarriages, and
noticeably ill-at-ease around babies and children, they have decided, or
at least claim, that they like their lives as they are, which is to say
career-focused, responsibility-free and self-absorbed.
But
“it’s the parents who are selfish,” said Mr. Dyer, pointing to families
typically own larger cars and use up more resources. Regarding “any
environmental consciousness, the needs of their family get ahead of
everything else,” he said in an interview. “In terms of behaving in a
civic way, I feel my behavior is always exemplary.”
His assertion is backed up by some studies showing that childless adults volunteer more for their community.
In addition, their interest in leaving behind a better world has
nothing to do with their own genetic line but with humanity itself. (Ms.
Daum said that after she decided not to have children, she believed she
“had to compensate by volunteering, doing more work, being there more
for my friends.”)
One
could also make the economic case that, with their taxes, childless
couples are selflessly subsidizing the education and well-being of other
people’s children (who provide tax breaks for their parents).
Conversely, it is these parents’ descendants who will be taking care of
the childless adults — and keeping society operational — when they are
elderly.
Photo
Naomi Watts in Noah Baumbach’s new film, “While We’re Young.”Credit
Jon Pack/A24 Films, via Associated Press
“The
fact is, everybody is selfish,” Ms. Daum said. “It’s like saying, ‘You
breathe.’ Parents and non-parents need to think of themselves as
partners. Kids need all sorts of role models, and not have every adult
they know be somebody’s parent. We need to reframe the conversation,
otherwise it just becomes, ‘Who’s more selfish?’ ”
Related
to questions of egotism are those of class and reservations about
participating in bourgeois child rearing, let alone their inability to
meet its expenses.
Ms.
Holmes’s essay touched upon “the creeping commodification of childhood
in the form of must-have status symbols — baby carriages, sleeper
clothing — and the economic inequalities and educational failures that
find parents signing up their toddlers for placement in private
elementary schools years in advance” as accounting “for some of the
aversion I have for the demands of modern American parenthood.”
“From
the outside, parenting today seems so harried and overwhelmed with
Disney and plastic junk,” said Ms. Bolick, the author of “Spinster.” “Or
you can be really rich and buy handmade Swedish wooden toys and curate
your child’s life.”
She
compared today’s modern accouterments of childhood with the simpler
time of “when I grew up in the ’70s, when you sat a kid down with a bowl
and a wooden spoon,” she said. (Pressed for clarification as to exactly
which century her recreation with kitchenware occurred in, she
maintained it was the 1970s, not the 1870s.)
Even some of the staunchest anti-reproduction advocates, though, concede that they may eventually second-guess their decision.
“There
are regrets, but my entire life is an ocean of regret, and that’s just
one drop in it,” Mr. Dyer said. “I would probably, in my 60s, be ready
to start having kids, as long as I was spared all the stuff about it
that doesn’t appeal to me. By then I’d have lost interest in practically
everything, so there’d be no opportunity cost involved.”
But
to do that, he acknowledged, “I’d have to trade in my wife for a
younger model,” before cheekily adding, “Younger — and also a model, I’d
hope.”
Mr. Dyer was recently awarded a Windham-Campbell Literature Prize,
which comes with $150,000. When it was suggested to him that, after
taxes, the money could have been used for almost two years of top-tier
college tuition, Mr. Dyer had a less scholastic plan for his winnings.
“Instead it’s bought 20 years of beer drinking,” he said.
September 15, 2015 Canada's Kim Cattrall- from Upworthy on twitter...NAILS IT
QUOTE: "I am not
a biological parent, but I am a parent. I have young actors and actresses that
I mentor; I have nieces and nephews that I am very close to. ... There is a way
to become a mother in this day and age that doesn't include your name on the
child's birth certificate. You know, you can express that maternal side of you
very, very clearly, very strongly. ... It feels very satisfying."
According to Census data, a record number of women are choosing not to have
children.
In 2014, nearly 48% of women between the ages of 15 and 44 had never had
kids. That's the highest percentage of women without children since the Census
Bureau started tracking the statistic in the 1970s.
But despite nearly half of American women going child-free,
the expectation to have kids is still there. Women who make the choice to forgo
motherhood are slammed as selfish or immature. Entire articles are dedicated to the plethora of reasons
women choose not to have kids, as if their decision warrants a longer
explanation than "works for her, not for me."
But apparently, even in 2015, even with numerous awards and a successful career to your name — and
even with other things to talk about — this is still a choice women are
expected to defend.
Hats off to Kim Cattrall for redefining motherhood.
Not just for herself, but for being a strong voice and
advocate for the many women who choose a path other than raising children. It's
not always an easy path to walk, but she does it with grace, grit, and
undoubtedly in fabulous shoes.
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